urgency is the new emergency.

hi!
forgotten? remember me faintly ? ya. same chick.

urine and words. both flow. both yellow. both blissful. The ideal way they should be 'fluid'. I have'nt written much in ages and i may not write for some time to come. This has nothing to do with laziness as claimed by bloggers but more to do with being able to conjure topics , not just two or four words but an idea. conjuring most things today is difficult and i am no exception. at times all i am immersed in are passing thoughts. the sorts that stimulate you but don't make you come. They are there , but not there enough.

i am beginning to feel the need to rearrange or lego-ise my thought process. let it build block by block, standing by itself on a strong base, growing by its scope on a wide scale.

Both are appealing thoughts. i wonder what to choose? The urinal thought process is in my veins (susu in veins not quite biologically appealing). it is how i think how i am . fluid. without boundaries. its like letting out a drunken torro in the middle of a crowded vizhipuram street. the end of it could just be bullshit. but it gives you the power to look everywhere. no need to wear blinkers. do netrachodan all around yet stop and think where you know you gotta stop. this power is powerful.

legoising is good. it is very good. (reminds me of the remarks my teachers used to note in my school diary and in other kids' diary) anyway isnt this a little to restricted? like you are a guy and someone asked you to pee in one-point-shot-sprinkle way. like you were a girl and someone asked you to dress all pink. pink hair colour and pink lens too.

Well. Thats what it is. my mum just brought kaju katri home. i am going to exercise my urinal thought process, which is, leaving the blog wrioting mid-way and doing what i love to do. pigging out.

point noted. fuck blinkers.

Yeh love kya cheese* hain?

I love the title! Recently I celebrated, rather , was a part of 'the love' week. This week is defined by certain outrageous qualities , such as, of transforming even the most mundane things into lovely somethings, of producing enough rouge(read blush)to give LOreal a run for their money, of letting you pass effortlessly through an entire day of misery, ladies-compartment-squabbles, bad-hair day and much more. These outrageous qualities have been so pleasing that I plan to stick around for a long , make that real long time to come.

Let me run you through the happenings of the love week.

Mon: I was chasing fluffy clouds on 7th heaven while trying to decipher latin. While I galloped around in a dizzy speed , I missed a cloud and I fell on the clouds of the 9th heaven. They were dream-inducing. But strangely, they were firm, safe and solid. I think i stayed in that state for almost a century before I realized it was already Wednesday.

Wed: I got to know about a few avenues of sightseeing on 9th heaven. They had a fish pond, filled with beautiful fishes. The catch here is , usually these fishes like to be caught and they will readily fall into your hook/trap, but the couple that evades the maximum fishes finally falls to the 11th heaven(the baap of all heavens). We went fishing and were so busy swimming in the never ending pool of each other's eyes that the fishes felt completely left out. Of course they dropped us to the 11th heaven and by the time we fell onto the clouds of this heaven it was almost the end of the week(and the beginning of a new love week).

Love also defies gravity. You know falling 'down' from 7th to 9th to 11th is not quite possible. I think i have made my point.

Its quite incomplete, i know. But why dilute love into words? Hain na?

Feel

I feel like i am breaking,

But i will hold on.

I feel like i am withering,

But i will flower on.

I feel acute anger

But i will smile on.

I feel downright insane

But i will go on.

I feel like i burnt a hole

Right in my heart,

But I will heal on.

I feel like feeling again

But, i don’t know yet,

If i could feel on.

-Subha Ramachandran

Let's Talk

I am in denial ,

Complain,I shall.

Reason the wrong,

demolish the right.

Foul , you cry?

And,

you shall watch.

Born,

To two organs

craving work.

Raised, too,

Replicate, Impersonate

Childhood,

wringing rights,

But,

writing wrongs

Adolescence,

Hush, Stop.

Adulthood,

Proletariat?

Shut up.

Work, You will.

Middle age,

Life,left,incomplete.

Death,

Inhaled my last,

Refused to let the breath 'go'

Stifled,

to sing the silent song.

Old Age?

I never grew old.

-Subha Ramachandran

affairs I love

What is it about love stories that have women craving for more? Having grown up on a steady supply of Judith Mcnaught's Kingdom Of dreams, Whitney, My love and many such more, I hopelessly fell in love with the idea of a historic romance. So much so that the obsession even got me into a tricky situation, when months ago, I realized I was living this dream. Soon enough this bubble burst and I recognized my folly and blatantly attributed it to Judith Mcnaught!

Although I am practical when it comes to being practical, realist when its test time and a romantic at mind(!) , I cannot help but accept my love for everything grandeur. Dont you wonder that History is romantic? Thanks, but I dont harbour any sentiments of 'crush' on Bhagat Singh or Hitler. But , what I do harbour is to bathe in the glory of the grand nature of everything english. Its sex, raw greed, pompousness, polished sophistication with more than a hint of malice and their easy approval of their myriad sexcapades. I fantasize heroes, although I cant imagine myself as a damsel in distress, purely because of my lack of self-acknowledged-beauty and the works. Damsels in distress are very pretty , also very irresistible. I wonder if i'd ever qualify for that job and hence in a dignified manner I fade my memory of myself as a damsel-in-distress. But, I still like heroes.

Heroes who have horses, who necessarily dont have to be good-looking or vain. They have to be courageous though. I think I attract courage. I like courage . Courage is such a rare quality. I would love a man who comes with a open mind and a big heart laden with enough courage to confide in me his reasons that interests him about me. I have found very few men who are courageous. All of us are hypocrites hiding behind our own curtains , adjustable ones. I met a spineless man and so spineless was he that unless he proves me wrong in my reading of his varying capacity of spinelessness, I will detest the mere idea of meeting men about whom I dont know much. Spinelessness is a quality that percolates the very texture of our finely-built society. Its a quality we are all born without but like obedient slaves we agree to. And now having met people who are masters at this act , I wonder how much I would love to smash such men's skull into two. You must wonder and be amazed if not delighted about my special bias towards men in this piece. But I must say, with much remorse that women are also party to this quality. Its just their way of acting that distinguishes them in my eyes. Men suppress when spineless, women become old when spineless. I hope you understand old here, you do?

I am not cruel by nature, I am quite nice. Its just that I dislike dishonesty.

I am leaving it here. Not articulated it well.

Rotate

Lets smell each other
bosom rose buddies
near the red riverbank
lets smell each other

your chin is pointed
so is mine
my nose is long
shorter is yours

soon we adjust
soon we impose
soon we dominate
soon we suckle

suckle is passe
squeeze is that
tongue lick lick
tingle toe tinkle

square , round , rotates
still we lie
sweat beads form
still we try

Come, another winter day
my love
you shall see
we will smell each other again
no bosom buddies then, we.

Sono Aisha

I haven't seen the movie yet. Although I plan to. But the reviews are not too good. I have observed something (this time too !). Now, I have been following many reviews over the weekend and have come to the conclusion that most film critic and reviewers either like the use of the word 'Banal ' or simply think the same about the movie. How else would you explain the generous usage of the above mentioned word in almost every third review! Sanjukta Sharma of Mint used it, Mayank Shekhar of HT used it and another movie website used it. What is it with this word ?

Anyway, I guess it will become too banal if I stretch this too far . Adios!