Breast Pockets

Hi !!!
I am so happy. Happy is such an understatement for what I feel. Bloggy , Coochie Coo.. How have you been ?I think I have a crush on you bloggy. You are so adorable.

Enough.

Today we shall discuss a very serious topic. It's breast pockets. This post of mine is dedicated to all those boobs , right and left both that have been crushed under the weight of several small purses that have signalled women's gateway to freedom ! So, who are these women who do not care much about the most-looked-at part of their bodies? Why are they so keen to stuff them with atrocious looking wallets containing money with a silvery zip? We shall find and arrest them. Oops , then we would have to arrest almost 95 % of India's rural women population and the rest 5% can be covered by the urban crowd who show similar insensitive tendencies.

Of what I have observed the breasts almost always seems to pocket money. Money in thin plastic covers, in small rexin purses, in the knotty end of an old worn-out handkerchief, or money just hiden in itself. The beauty of this system is the ease with which women plunge their hands in and out of their blouse cups. Take money, feel its presence, count it silently and tuck it back into the safety of her blouse.

Now there are two types of women in this stuffing category. Some who only stuff the left sides of their blouse cups, naturally denoting the easy access of the right hand to the breast pocket. Some who stuff it in both the right and left sides of their blouse.

Money is held very close to the heart , literally, in this big country of ours. A women's most trusted possession her breasts, which she coyly hides from the rest of the world is her safest bet. She trusts those breasts/ blouse not to betray her at times of need. When the husband is piss-drunk and searches the house wanting to take some more money to satisfy his thirst, the women knows no place in the world can escape the man's sight. But , she hides it in the most common of places, a territory where the husband has unlimited access. Yet , very rarely would the husband notice and even if he does , don't you remember the famous dialogue 'Mere Girebaan mein haath mat dalo'. Smarty, 'Mere izzat pe haath mat dalo' comes when its not the husband!

This breast pocket might also give some nostalgic memories of their childhood, when their mothers, loving aunts would shyly dig their hands in to their blouse cups , remove a anna or two and hand it to the school going boy, or the ever-so-beautiful village girl to have a candy, fruit or to buy imli, ber or star fruit with salt and chilli on it. Umm.. mouthwatering!

While travelling in the crowded second-class compartment of a train , the child on seeing a candy man pulls the hem of his mother's saree and that is when the heart connects to the breast pocket and throws a command in the direction of her hand which on impulse reaches her blouse cups and suddenly stops short of taking out the money. You ask me why ? I will tell you. It does so because the moment it touches the breast pocket it realises the gradually decreasing weight of the purse inside and the brain decides otherwise. Then all we hear is the screaming and wailing of the kid all along till the end of the journey.

Some may also remember the scene from Monsoon Wedding where the maid, Alice tucks Dubey ji's business card in to her blouse and we can see the ever-so-enchanted Dubey ji played by Vijay Raaz staring loving at Alice for her generous gesture. A gesture indicating love and union in Dubey ji's heart.

A man loves his conquest over this area. When he owns it , he rightfulls makes it his own. When he strays to own one , he either ends up demonstrating a cruel conquest or gleefully becomes the owner of many.

A woman finds it precious, sacrosanct , almost a necessity and happily opens the gate to the man whom she perceives loves her the most.

That's what it is Ladies and Gentleman. The Breast Pocket.

P.S: This entire post is written on the assumption that all women mentioned here are in a sari and blouse. For thouse who are not, the bra is what saves the day, although I may not want to discuss that.

P.P.S: Should this post be called Blouse pocket instead of breast pocket? What do you think ?